July 9th 2024: Hey, young people

It saddens me to share some terrible news from last week – a teenage surfer from Piha decided to take his own life. He was a top-level surfer, one with talent in spades and a cheeky personality to go with it. Now he's torn a hole in the surf community of Piha and sent shockwaves right throughout the wider New Zealand surf family.

It's an all too familiar story in New Zealand, but it doesn't have to be this way. Growing up in New Zealand is tough. It always has been. It is made tougher with the constant pressure of social media, the doom and gloom news cycle, global crisis, bullying, conspiracy proponents, cost of living forecasts and wartime upheaval ... but none of that really matters.

I wish I had been told a few things as a young person:

1) Actually none of your mistakes really matter. It's okay to make mistakes, we all do and will. They don't define you. They don't cast a shadow over you. Learning from them grows you and makes you a better person.

2) Money is just paper. It really means very little in truth. It comes and goes through your life a little bit like water. Some people really love it and for others it has no real value. It's certainly not worth worrying about or losing sleep over. Yes, you will have to work hard sometimes, but if you enjoy that work then that's okay. If not get a different job – find one you like.

3) Comparison is the thief of joy. Celebrate the achievements of others but don't compare your path to theirs. Everyone's journey through life is different. Mostly it is a rollercoaster of highs and lows. You learn to recognise the lows and make peace with them, knowing that there must be a high coming soon (and there always is). And that's true for all stages of life right into your old age.

4) More people love you than you'll ever know. It can get lonely inside your own head at times and little things can feel much bigger than they actually are. Reach out to those around you and recalibrate your thoughts. Replace that self-administered negativity with a direction or idea that's abundantly positive.

There is always a way to overcome relationship issues, money problems, addictions and grief. Talk to those around you and allow them in to help you. Just like each new ground swell that arrives like a gift to our shores, there are untold exciting moments lurking around the corner for us all. I promise.

See you at the beach ... Derek

PS One of the most inspiring people I've ever had the privilege to work with is Mike King. He is the guy who created Gumboot Friday which offers free counselling to anyone under the age of 25 who needs it. He's waging a battle on New Zealand's woeful youth depression statistics and he's saving our young people. Check it out (or donate) right here.